Tamara Y. (Williams) Conaway

Are Black Women Quietly Quitting the USA?
But did you listen to them though?

So what happened was… Several years ago, someone had the bright idea to promote a mantra: “Listen to Black Women.” I was snapping my fingers in approval because I have met many Black women in the U.S.A., and I am 100% certain that they know what’s up. I was finally in a place where I felt like healing could take place in the U.S.A. You see, racism is a sickness. It is a disease that plagues both sides.

I like to use an analogy to explain what I mean by illness. On one side, you have a group of people who believe that no matter how hard they try, they will never get the recognition they have earned. Like no matter how hard I study for a test, the best grade I can get is a C—even if I get all the answers right—so why bother at all?

The other side believes that no matter how awful I perform, the worst I will get is a B, so why bother to study at all? I cannot fail. So both sides do not try their best. Who would!

I have literally had European descendants with no money and bad credit offer me their whiteness if I ever needed it in any way. But your whiteness is not helping you at all, so how could it assist me? They believed that even if they have nothing, at least they are white. What is white? If someone’s ancestors migrated here from Europe, they were more than likely trying to escape extreme poverty and gain an opportunity to feed their children. Many of the early European settlers were depraved. Someone along the way had the scandalistic idea to pacify poor Europeans with this brand called “white.” It worked! So many Americans really believe that their lack of melanin makes them better than melanated people groups.

So what I am saying is: an entire group of people have been brainwashed into believing that a lower amount of pigmentation somehow makes them better than anyone else who has more pigmentation. This is not based on test scores, financial gains, or any scientific credibility. This belief is promoted and lives in their hearts as implicit bias.

Recently, a woman was shot in Minnesota by ICE. It was a horrible tragedy. I got phone calls from several friends telling me what happened. I was horrified. Not one time did I ask what level of melanin she had. I wanted to know the details of what happened. I wanted to know if she was an American citizen or someone being detained by ICE.

To my surprise, many people said, “Oh, now they did it. They shot a white woman. Now things will get real.” That statement angered me to my core. Because only in the U.S.A. is the value of a person’s life linked to how melanated they were at birth. I was angry not at those who said it. I was angry because it was a true statement for many Americans who have been conditioned into an insane, illogical mindset.

Listen to Black women! We will tell you that all babies are sweet. These stupid ideas about supremacy are rehearsed to our children and continue to live in our subconscious minds as implicit bias. For example, if a Black woman has several achievements, degrees, and high confidence, she is considered arrogant, high-minded, difficult, aggressive, and needing to be brought down a peg or two; however, if her white counterpart has the same achievements, she is considered to be a boss babe, power figure, or force to be reckoned with in our society.

Black women are the leading group in this country for educational degrees. They have worked so hard for so long to prove their intellect and work ethic, yet in 2025, after Affirmative Action was cancelled by the Trump administration, more than 500,000 Black women were laid off their jobs not knowing they were diversity hires. Well-qualified diversity hires. Maybe even overqualified diversity hires. I had the privilege of speaking to several. They all told the same story. Most were in administrative roles. They came to work like any other day, but noticed a meeting with HR on their schedule that wasn’t there previously. Most knew what that meant. Several said, “I did nothing wrong, but was told I’d get a six-month severance package.”

Many of these women had been on their jobs for decades. They worked hard and felt safe in this society. Ninety-two percent of Black women did not vote for what they got. They knew better, and now they are struggling to make ends meet. I interviewed several women, and it was the same story. The betrayal was the part that hurt them the most. They had built relationships with their fellow workers, who sat in the room while they were being let go with no cause.

So here we are… what is the response for many Black women? Quiet quitting. Many are looking to move elsewhere. Many are tired of begging for equality that they or their predecessors never received. Many know that their daughters will never feel safe in this land, nor should they. Black women are traveling outside of the U.S. and finding that they are met with kindness, respect, and equality. Many are leaving quietly because, well, why not? At least elsewhere they get to choose their hard. Yes, life in another country may not have every luxury offered in the U.S., but at least they get to choose what struggles they will have instead of having it served to them at birth.

When I spoke to several women who were planning to move abroad, they were scared but excited, and ultimately they felt relieved. No marching. No picketing. No protesting. No begging. Just a ticket, savings, a small house in a chateau-de-la-something, a few hens, and some fresh-baked bread in the mornings. Did I mention a very slow morning that starts with journaling and yoga? Yup, they quiet quitting the U.S.A., and it is about damn time.

Black women have been involved in a narcissistic abuse relationship with an entire country. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to go no-contact, or in this case at least a serious separation. Many do come back and forth to visit family, see friends, and manage business, but they go back home to countries that welcome them and allow them to rest from exhaustion, neglect, and abuse. I clap for them and encourage others to consider that what you may be looking for is not and will never be in the U.S.A. So sis, go and live your soft life somewhere else if you feel the need to do so.

The end.