Focus…

What I choose to focus on will determine my mood, but what about the outside distractions? What about other people pulling me into their bad life choices and begging for my help? I am so glad you asked. I spend a lot of time in life trying really hard to make the right choices. I watched as others did not follow suit. I do not judge them. Many times, people do the best they can with the information they have at the time. Hindsight is always 20/20. Without good examples or good leadership, we are all forced to do the best we can with what we think we know.

I spend a lot of time talking to successful people. I wanted to get higher in life than my parents, but I did not know what I did not know. I spend a lot of time asking questions to successful people—both men and women from all different nationalities. The things I learned blew my mind. The recommendations they made blew me away but also made so much sense. I was conditioned by the system that kept my people in poverty generation after generation. Meanwhile, other nationalities would come here, and within one or two generations, they would have everything they ever wanted. I needed to understand why.

What I learned was that we were sold a bag of crap. Equality in the U.S. is a myth and is especially denied to Black and Brown individuals. The only real power in the U.S. is through currency—those who have versus those who do not. Also, every 10–15 years, the cost of living leaps into a new era. The middle class becomes the lower, and the rich turn into the middle class. I have watched this happen for three generations. I think it is the way they keep us working to the bone. The cost of living outprices the elderly, and they struggle after retirement. These are folks who lived in comfort for years but cannot afford to pay their bills once they retire because of property taxes and utility costs.

The solution is to focus. Do not fall in line with society. Think outside of the box. Talk to people from other countries. Gain perspective from people from all over the world. Question everything you think you know about life. And most importantly, do not ever let people drag you down because of their previous poor choices. That brother of yours who refused to take your advice 20 years ago and now needs money for his bills—tell him you cannot help him. Charity begins at home, but it is for those who have circumstances that are beyond their own control. For example, getting drunk and driving is a bad choice. If something bad happens as a result, should you have to dip into your savings to help them? NO! Do not do it. Encourage them, comfort them, but never let someone else’s bad decisions become your problem.

Stick with the good life. Fresh-cut flowers on your dinner table, healthy nutritious meals, family vacations, go to yoga, take dance classes, eat fresh fruit (I like the ones from my local Asian market), and beautiful clothes. Make your world beautiful. Decorate your home and bedroom. Listen to great music, drink your favorite wine, cook the best food, laugh a lot, rest (never let anything or anyone interrupt your rest times, including naps), and prioritize yourself. Most importantly, steer clear of people who are always going through it. Find like-minded souls who want the good life. I am not talking about how much money you have. I am talking about making the good life regardless of what you have in the bank. Go thrift shopping! Buy good quality stuff, and if your shoes break, get a shoe cobbler to fix them. If your really great quality pants are too big, go to a seamstress to get them taken in for you.

When you create a life and schedule that makes you happy, life feels good. When your phone rings and you see it’s that person—you know, the one with problems, problems, and more problems—don’t answer. Yes, that’s right, let it go to voicemail. They crave your energy and light, but they have to learn how to make their own. Let them find the same path that you spent years cultivating, but it must be their own decision to start. All you have to do is focus on you.